NMCM All Things Family Blog

So, you’ve been in your relationship for a few years, and all of a sudden you begin to notice that the thrill seems to be gone. Your husband expresses little interest in you physically, and even though nothing is wrong, you are wondering if everything is okay. If this sounds familiar, it may be that your relationship is going stale from lack of effort. That’s right, it takes WORK to make attraction last!

Most relationships don’t last because couples don’t know how to keep things alive and invigorating , and they don’t realize what is happening until it is too late. Most relationship advice or marriage advice focuses on tangible problems – cheating, arguing, sex, etc. The thing is, the attraction between spouses is the foundation stone of the relationship. Many of the problems that a marriage or relationship has CAN be fixed by learning how to fix the fading attraction. One expert in the field of relationship advice , Dating and Relationship Coach Rori Raye , has some great advice about keeping that spark alive.

First of all, attraction is not all about sex, so stop worrying about that part. When other factors fall into place in your relationship, your sex life will be healthy and natural. You spend a lot more time out of bed than in it, so you need to focus on that time first and foremost. Now, have you slipped into a routine that is predictable and boring? This is normal in a long term relationship, but it doesn’t have to make your relationship boring and predictable. One thing that helps alleviate the boredom you both may be feeling is trying new things together.

Another great piece of marriage advice is to take a class together (or even simply taking on a project together, like creating a garden, remodeling your basement together, etc). That is a great way to grow closer as a couple and explore your common interests. If you both like to read, you can even start a book discussion club, or start writing movie reviews together for your local paper. Whether you find a shared interest in music, gardening, or NASCAR, by committing to learning something new together you can reconnect and communicate.

Getting physically active together is another wonderful way to reconnect your relationship. It gets your heart pumping, reduces stress, and will make you feel good about yourself and your body. It will also give you both more energy, which will promote a good sex life. By supporting each other through the challenge of physical exertion, you will build mutual respect for each other while you build your confidence. Take walks together, go swimming, play racquetball at the local club – anything you can BOTH do that you will both think is fun and healthy will help.

Body language and non-verbal communication are actually more important (as about 90% of our communication comes directly from body language and non verbal cueing) than verbal communication. I know, that is kind of shocking, huh? You will be surprised by how much increased touching will raise your levels of attraction to one another. Casual and unexpected hugs, kisses and caresses during non-sexual moments around the house is a great way to communicate to him that you are still attracted to him.

Don’t be afraid to shake things up in the bedroom a little, too. Plan a sexy encounter by leaving a trail of rose petals from the front door to the bedroom. Buy some lingerie or body rub, give him a sexy massage. Create a dinner menu of aphrodisiac foods, and then feed them to him. Not only does this excite him, but it makes him want to rise to the challenge and surprise you, too. Just try it and see.

Rori Raye has some amazing tools and advice for your marriage and relationship. It is not too late; you are not too old, overweight, or pressed for time to bring back the attraction into your love life. Anyone can do this – remember always that YOUR marriage or relationship is YOURS – he loves you for YOUR unique qualities that no other woman has, and you can bring back the attraction by following some simple, easy to do steps that he will thank you for later!

Tags: Marriage

Share This